Hiring a hitman

Posted on February 23rd, 2006 @ 9:04 pm in Stuff.

Nigel was chatting to Tall Andy when I returned to my desk after the flirtathon.

“How much does it cost to hire a hit man?”, he asked, clearly harrassed by someone or other.

“Under £1,000.” I replied, quickly.

He was surprised at the speed of my reply.

“Of course I’m assuming you want someone eliminated. Just roughing someone up will be cheaper.”

His jaw was dropping by this point so I went in for the kill (if you’ll pardon the pun).

“Thanks to my bonus I can now afford to get three managers eliminated. Or about twenty seriously beaten.”

He wandered off, appearing to be a little troubled by what I’d just told him for some reason. Tall Andy found it all highly amusing.

“I don’t think he was expecting a reply at all.” he laughed. I wonder when (or whether) Nigel will realise I was making it up as I went along …

 

5 responses

  1. Author

    Gordon says:

    Added on February 23rd, 2006 at 11:30 pm

    Yeah, you SAY you are making it up…

  2. Author

    Daisy says:

    Added on February 24th, 2006 at 6:33 pm

    Gordon, I was wondering about that too. “Many a true word is spoken in jest” and all that.

    Em3: All I can say is that you’d better be careful if you think I really do have links to organised crime! :-)

  3. Author

    The Bishop says:

    Added on February 24th, 2006 at 7:47 pm

    Hmm. That last comment puts me in mind of last night’s police press conference on the Tonbridge robbery. The officer in charge stated they were ‘dealing with organised crime’. I’m glad he had the deductive power to discount that this wasn’t just a random, opportunist crime.
    And, back to the point, under a grand? Pay peanuts, get monkeys who will shop you to the rozzers when their dabs are found all over the shooter. (anon c.1972)

    Em3: Yes, yes, but it’s my manager who was looking for a hitman, not me. It’s no skin off my nose if he gets shopped to the rozzers. :-)

  4. Author

    some dude says:

    Added on September 10th, 2006 at 12:01 am

    hey….

    ne chance of actually hiring a hitman these days?

    and btw i am being serious… :S

    so lemme kno wot are charges n such.

    thnx

  5. Author

    some chick says:

    Added on October 16th, 2006 at 4:04 am

    This is for ’some dude’…..anything is possible :)
    What’s your reality?

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